Reflection

Just now, as i was doing something for my brother's present i was thinking a few things.... I was thinking what my mom has told me on the phone this afternoon. She told me i did not go back home for at least 3 months and since she has been for chemo i wasn't there at all. I was thinking the things i have told her when i was back home in the month of July. I took the bus back to penang and i follow my parents straight to the hospital. Later on i said i should have ask somebody to fetch me home. Then she add by saying by just sitting here it can mean alot to a person. She reminded me that i have said this to her, i wish i could send you to the opperational room and wait for you to come. As i was thinking i told myself i shouldn't have said that sentence in red. Im going back on the 23 i told myself each time she is to going to the hospital i'm following too.

Later on, i continue to think, i wish i didnt come to kl to study eventhough coming to the end of the year and coming to close i'm here for 2 years. I wish i have done it in Penang. I know is God's plan for me to come to kl so i can be independent otherwise I'm won't be one when i'm in Penang. Yet i still wish i'm not in kl. Sometimes i see family spending time with each other i feel very envy. Yes i'm going home for 1 month then 1 month come by very fast and i need to be in kl again. Each time when i'm bas going to Penang felt very happy when i'm in the bus going to kl tears just come but i still hold it again and keep remainding myself. A few more sem to go very fast pass. I know the Lord is with me all the time. There are times my sem are very heavy like this sem 5 sub but i still go on with the 5 sub without dropping so i can finish this course ASAP so i could go back Penang. If i would do in Penang i don't mind taking my time to finish the course. Anyway the Lord still hold me and always be there when ever i need him. I'm so greatful to have such person in my life eventhough i cannot see him but can feel his present and power.